Annoyance:
The most common form of anger, in today’s world, is the kind caused due to annoyance. With our busy and fast paced lives, our level of tolerance is the finest of lines.People today, need everything done NOW and every instruction to be comprehended on the first go. Obviously, these are demanding times for most people and thus anger is bound to rear it's ugly head more than often.
This kind of anger situation is of the subjective nature and varies from people to people and depends a lot on our mental attitude towards life, people and relationships.
Anger surface when:
1) You’re talking to someone and they’re not listening.
2) You tell something or give an instruction and people mess it up or don’t understand it.
3) You or someone makes a mistake at something.
These situations make us angrier based on the amount of times they get repeated. More you get ignored, more your rage builds.
Who are we annoyed with:
In these kinds of cases we don’t usually get angry at people who we fear or respect or hold in high esteem. But usually the victims of our anger are those who we take for granted, look down on or have little value for.
It hurts me the most when I get angry with loved ones and then I regret it later. I’m sure it’s happened to most of the readers out there. What’s happened is that, we usually take our loved ones for granted, that they’ll always be there for us, with us. We end up expecting them to always understand us, agree with us, help us and basically be in sync with us. Which is not always the case. And that leads to anger
Overcoming this kind of anger is about becoming open minded, cheerful and unattached. It requires a bit of a Zen like state of mind where you respect others and hold everyone equally in your heart. Know and realize that people are humans too, especially loved ones and there entitles to their flaws. No one is perfect. Not even you. I believe that the relationship we have with ourselves is the kind of relationship we have with people around us. The outer world is a manifestation of our inner world. So get less angry at yourself and you’ll be less angry with others. Relax and stop being so critical.
There is a story of Buddha that might help understand the nature of anger and emotions.
Buddha was sitting under a tree, meditating, when a stranger comes up to him and begins insulting him, to test his authenticity as a spiritual master. Buddha remains unperturbed by the man and never even flinches. This anger’s the stranger even more and he starts insulting him, even more and louder. The Buddha still remains calm and unfazed. Eventually, the stranger gets tired and once his anger subsides, he asks the master, how he remained calm through all of this? Wasn’t he provoked to insult back? To this the master replied, “Why will I be affected by you’re gift, If I have chosen to not accept it?”
You have a choice and you have the power of free will. Use it and simply refuse to accept anger. :)