What is anger? When you analyze the emotion of anger, for what is really is, you realize that it’s this feeling of injustice, of doing harm to another be it physical, mental or emotional or all three of them, usually. It is one the most basic and raw-est of human emotions, which has been with us since probably the prehistoric times. Rather, its necessity back then was more justified than it is now, in the post caveman days.
We’ve all been angry many times in our lives, it’s nothing new; but those of us who have given in to it, know that that instant of gratification is more expensive than it’s worth to be indulged. I personally, have many times regretted the actions I’ve taken giving in to anger and so it’s worth understanding what causes anger in order to be able to learn how to use it, to our advantage and subdue the beast.
Injustice: Also considered to be in some way resentment. It is when you feel that you deserved something but you didn’t get it. It’s when something “SHOULD” have happened and it doesn’t, at least not the way we wanted it to pan out. When expectations are not meant, is when a person feels an injustice has occurred and anger is a response to this injustice.
1) When you try really hard and work for a reward only to have it taken away from you.
2) When someone else gets your reward (promotion, girl, spot on the team, prize money etc)
3) When you’re denied a chance at something, which you feel, should have been yours.
4) When you’re ignored or told to shut up. That is, not allowed to voice your opinion or express yourself.
The examples above are abounding with causes to become angry and lash out at something, or even worse, someone.
Core Desires: In most of these cases it’s important to remember that usually, we get angry here at the thought of being denied or failing at something or being denied a reward and NOT at the failure itself. It’s like this. If I don’t get the promotion, I’ve been looking forward to. I get angry , not because I didn’t get the rise in post or duties. But it’s because I didn’t get the extra pay hike, social status etc. Now obviously, these conditions vary as per the person’s level of consciousness. Considering the general populace, there are many of us who wouldn’t mind being in the lowest level of company hierarchy but with a pay of the CEO. In this case, promotion doesn’t matter; we’re anyway getting what we want, so no anger arises. So it’s really about knowing what we actually WANT. The core of our desire needs to be deciphered in order to understand the cause of anger.
Another example is when I was selected for my school basketball team. I got to play in only 1 match and only for 5 minutes. I didn’t score even one basket and was benched. I remember I was really angry at that time. In this case, even though I was on the team, my reasons for anger were my lack of ability and achievement in my time on the court. My primary focus, I thought, was to be on the team, but in actuality it was to be popular in school and gain that social status that comes with being the MVP of the team. Knowing that truth now, I would have practiced more on my game, or chosen another avenue for my CORE desires, some other sport or art,that I was naturally good at.
So it’s important to find out the main desire we have and choose a path that’s correct for it’s actualization, rather than the obvious or socially observed path. We go down a road we don’t want to and it’s obvious anger is going to be our partner throughout the journey. It’s really a science of cause and effect. The effect is anger, so it’s only obvious that to stop the effect, you have to stop the cause.