Ashwin's Power

1) GIVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND CARE: Most parents behave with their kids in a way that develops a pattern of "be good and only then will you get love". For example, if I didn't get good grades, my parents wouldn't talk to me very nicely. There tone would be of condescension and demeaning. But if I got good grades, they'd praise about me to all their friends. Or when I made a boo boo, they'd get impatient and call me stupid, but if everything went prefect, they'd give me a reward. What this does is setup a link in the child’s mind that if I behave, only then my parents are going to love me. If I make a mistake, there going to take that love away. This kind of thinking, can lead to a lot of insecurity and intimacy problems later on in the psych of the child. Parents should give their child UNCONDITIONAL LOVE; it doesn't matter if they make a mistake. As a parent you should be the one to say “its okay kiddo, I'm here, I'll keep you safe. Pick yourself up and shrug off the mistake. No matter what happens, I’m here for you."

2) DISCIPLINE THE CHILD: By discipline here, i mean the ability to perform action regardless of the emotional state. As an adult now, I realize how important discipline has been in my life and I am thankful to my parents for having imbibed that into me. What comes into peoples mind when they think of discipline is The Army, and some cranky, rough tough sergeant demanding 200 pushups from his cadets. That’s not what I'm talking about. Discipline means tempering the child, teaching emotional endurance and strength to fight off natural cravings. Getting up late, eating too many chocolates, delaying studies till exam day, inconsiderate and excessive spending are just a few of the signs of lack of discipline. Pampering is one of the main catalyst of indiscipline.
Initially it may be tough to discipline the child, but soon the rhythm builds up. The main 2 way to build up discipline is through:
(A): Start a habit pattern for the child. Something worth developing. It takes 21 days for a habit to be ingrained into the subconscious, so whatever you want to make a habit, start with it and then add something fun to do after it, so that the child is motivated to follow through. Here are some examples - Get up early and go to play sports together. The child learns to get up early and gets to have fun in the sports after it. The main objective is achieved. Another one is asking the child to finish all the homework or daily studies and then his/her favorite meal will be prepared. Be creative, there are a tons of ways to combine the two steps.
(B): If the child is very demanding then simply deny the demand of the child, which is only a luxury. In cases like over excessive eating, shopping, inconsiderate demands by the kids, parents should be firm and say NO. No need to snarl or hiss, a simple "no son, let's do this instead...I'm sure you'll have more fun" will suffice. It may be a little cruel, but that’s what tough love is, and in certain cases, parents have to put there foot down. They may whine a bit, but kids are very curious and will forget about it in a short time. If there teens, they might stop talking to you, but a little one-on-one chat explaining the situation will clear it all up.
These methods are sure to help a child develop good discipline and willpower to handle the tougher challenges in life, and parents would do well to make a point to educate their kids with this Powerful skill. Now these methods may appear contradictory with some of the other methods (basically the 1st one) but it's a matter of maturity. Be gentle and firm.

3) NEVER BE VIOLENT OR CALL THEM HARSH NAMES: Kids can be a pain sometimes. Always playing around, sometimes agitating, sometimes breaking things, sometimes not listening to their parents. These are the times when the parents bubble bursts and they vent out their anger on the kids. It is important then to remember that children are a blessing and you were once like that too. As a parent, you are required to be the responsible one and handle the situation by being mature and not sinking to the low level of hitting them or calling them "stupid, dumb, idiots..." to get them to stop misbehaving. Explain to them the consequences of their action, if they understand, well and good. But if there still not at that level of maturity, parents must utilize discipline style B and be firm and put their foot down. A way to improvise on punishment is by assigning the child, daily chores for a week. Something like cleaning the car, dishes, cutting the grass etc. Raising your hand at them or other types of physical or emotional attacks is going to only affect their self confidence, esteem in the long run. Think about that the next time...

4) MAKE THEM ALL ROUNDERS: children have the potential to be anything they can imagine when they grow up, as a parent you have the duty to help them on their path. The best way to do that is to expose and encourage them to be all that they can be. Bring a variety of books for them to read, teach them art, music, literature. Don’t just make them study bugs, Give them food for thought. Nudge them in the direction of sports, poetry, dancing and other extra curricular activities. They will love you for it in the future. Show them the wonders of this life. It will enhance their character and get more synapses to spark then the 4th July fireworks show. Don't impose only studies on the child. Let him/her GROW and expand.

5) APPRECIATE AND ACKNOWLEDGE THE CHILD'S EFFORTS: You have to show your child that it doesn't matter if they failed at something. What truly matters is that they gave it their best. Everyone knows that only the PERSISTENT succeed. So by acknowledging their attempt, you are motivating them to improve and keep on trying. Eventually they will succeed. I remember that once, as a child, I really messed up my grades in school and i was pretty beat up about it. But then my mom told me, "relax and don't worry so much. Next time do well, okay. You can do it, I know you can." and I did, the next year I got percentage of 92.6%. Thanks a lot mom. Be the fuel for you're child's ambitions and dreams. Keep refilling their tank of inspiration when it's running dry.

6) BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE: These were the words spoken by the greatest promoter of peace and non violence in the world- Mahatma Gandhi. What this implies is that, parents should try to be like the character they wish their child to develop. Children emulate their parents all the time. So become someone worthy of being emulated. Let you're child see you and wish to be like you. Become greater than great and your child will become great as well. Be someone whom your child can idolize and grow towards becoming.

Parents are the guide's that children have into this life. Thus its of utmost important that as care takers of the future generations, parents should take it upon themselves the responsibility to polish each child to his/her potential and support them to make the most of their talents.

As someone whose made a lot of mistakes in my life, I've often found myself thinking about the past and all the different decisions I could have made and different paths that I could have walked down. I'm sure many of the readers have felt that way as well. Thoughts would creep up in my head like, "If only I'd said that", “I shouldn’t have done that", “Why did I hesitate?" and more of the like. A perfect word to describe it would be regret, regret of the past, just another one of the things that was unhealthy for my mental peace. But that wasn't the only thing destroying my mental peace. 
Many times I've found myself so in love with someone, that'd I'd have trouble being without them. I'd feel disturbed, uncomfortable, out of place in their absence. I guess obsessed would be a good word for it. But there have also been many times, where my mental peace was disturbed not by negativity, but indirectly by my own positive actions. Winning the Basketball tournament 2 years in a row, my past had made me confident for a 3rd win. Beyond confident, I was teetering between arrogance and superciliousness, both of which weren't a good side to be on.

All these states always left me feeling depressed and sad at the end of the day and after some serious time out and meditation, I realized the key to freedom from the past.

There is no magic formula to achieve sustained and serene mental peace it. It's really all about Just LETTING GO OF THE PAST. Just let it go...  Every time something happens that agitates you, just be glad nothing worse happened and LET IT GO . Every time someone tries to put you on the spot, bless them for spending so much energy on you and just LET IT GO, Whenever you make a mistake or falter somewhere, its o.k., pick yourself up and LET IT GO, Whenever You achieve some great feat or great goal, Good for you, don't hold on to it and become egotistical. Be modest and humble and thank god for the strength and then LET IT GO, as well. Every time something happens that makes you feel fearful, anxious, uncomfortable, depressed or unhappy. Just remember all the good times you had in your life and LET THE BAD GO. Now I know that letting go can be difficult and to be honest, initially it is. But there were two things that really cemented the power and thought of "LETTING GO" in my mind.

1) Let me start with a story I once heard. "There were two monks traveling through the Jungles, heading for the monastery at its end. One of them was an aged and wise Master Monk. The other was his young pupil, still under training. On there journey across a stream, flowing through the forest, they came across a beautiful maiden with her cloths in tatters. She had been robbed and was unable to walk. Upon further inquiring, they discovered that her village lied on their path. She begged them to help her. The young monk was captivated by her beauty, but knew it was against their code to touch a woman. The Master Monk, not wasting much time, lifted her and carried her to her village. They safely brought her to her village, and then left for their destination. Throughout the journey, the young pupil was filled with questions and condemnation for his master’s actions. Upon reaching the monastery, the pupil asked the master, “Master, Why did you carry that women with you, back at the stream and then leave her till her village?" The young monk felt cheated and was quite rude in his questioning. The Old monk calmly answered, “My young apprentice, I have left that girl behind at her village because she needed my help, but have you left her yet?"

This story made me really understand the concept of letting go clear as crystal. It's all about doing what you have to do or bearing with what you have to, and then just letting it go. Releasing all energy, thoughts, emotions and feelings associated with it. Clearing the mind of its shackles and finding that elusively obvious Mental Peace.

2) The second technique I've found, that helps me let go of a lot of negative things, is to create and use a very strong Positive anchor. Look into your past and find a feeling so strong and positive that it still possesses that feeling and energy to re summon happiness and bliss. Just remind yourself of that thought, that moment , that feeling and use it whenever you need to let go of something unpleasant. I personally find that LOVE works the best here. I remind myself of the beautiful women who’s waiting for me back home and how no negativity can measure up against  the happiness I feel when I'm with her. OR no matter how bad things get, i have my music and friends, to bring back the joy in my life. 
In these moments, the negative past is like a heavy rain cloud trying to float up into the endless azure skies of heaven. It's just not happening. Remind yourself that no matter what happens, it doesn't have to make a difference and just LET IT GO.

Our time is NOW. To be as radically honest as I can. There is NO such thing as the past and no such thing as the future. They just don't exist. Think about it. Do they really matter? It's not like you can do anything, except think, about them. All we can truly do and control is to live in the NOW and , the PRESENT. Why waste time thinking about things that don't exist? True mental piece is when you’re free from the burdens of time and are free to just focus on THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW. Now is all we have and all we'll ever have. So let everything else just go...

Most of my life, I've been the kind of person whose day would begin only after 10 am, and that's not including holidays, in which case it could start as late as 12 pm. We've all been there. Phases in our lives where we've all slept till way past dawn. 

Many of us have grown out of it, many consciously choose to still live that way(which is absolutely fine - to each his own) and many of us are trying, to break free, of this habit but the soft hands of sweet sleep won't surrender us that easily.

This article is for the latter group.I developed this habit about 8 months ago and I'll admit it, getting up early is no piece of cake. It takes some serious will power to begin and even more discipline to stick to it. But the benefits are just too good to ignore (assuming you use the extra time gained wisely) the following steps proved really useful to me and I'd like to share them with you:

1) Create a mental Alarm: This requires a little bit of visualizing, but proves effective in many cases when you want to wake up early. Before You go to sleep for the day, just imagine yourself automatically waking up at your desired time and jumping out of the bed. Keep playing that Image in your head again and again, focusing on the time and how you're eye's are going to click open at that exact moment. It might not work the first day, but stick to it. Within the 3rd day, you'll notice yourself waking up even before the alarm rings :)

2) Drink a lot of water before going to bed: This trick works pretty well, if you want to wake up early. Like the heading says, drink a lot of water before going to bed, that way you're going to HAVE to get up to relieve yourself, no escaping it. What’s important here is that you calibrate the amount you need to drink, so that you can figure out how much water wakes you up at what time. I tested this out and found it takes me about 1 litre of water to get up at 5 , if I sleep at 12.
Try it. It's truly quite interesting to log and blog about.

3) Sleep early: Try to get a good 5 to 7 hours of sleep every night. Anything more than that, is just laziness manifesting. The body only needs 6 Hours to fully revitalize and rebuild itself. I usually call it a day at 12 am and get a peaceful 5 hours of sleep to awaken fully juiced for the next day. Getting up early does not mean sleep deprivation, so don't hesitate to sleep in early, to be able to wake up early. For Many people, the mind works better in the early morning than late night.

4) Have something motivating to do in the morning: If you have something to look forward to in the morning, then waking up becomes so much easier. My dads motivation for waking up early ,every morning, is to play golf. My moms motivation for waking up early is so that she can go for a walk while the crowd is minimal. I'm motivated to wake up early, so that I can go join the girls in school for a jog ;) To each his own. I leave it up to you, to find something that motivates you to wake up early and JUST DO IT.

5) LAST DITCH EFFORT: If all else fails. Set your alarm on loud and repeating. Set the time you desire and then place the clock far enough to make you walk to it from the bed, but still be irritatingly audible from the bed. This is sure to get you to wake up early and force you to leave the bed to turn the alarm off. A little crude, but it serves its purpose.Waking up is one thing, but staying up is another. Once I'm up , I make it a point to go wash my face with cold water and then I go towards the window and give a huge stretch and thank god for this wonderful day to come. This energizes me to stay up and make the most of the day ahead.

Remember, learning to become an early riser is one of the best habits to acquire and it's not that hard to develop. Just COMMIT to learning it and you'll be waking up early in no time.