Sometimes in life, we get stuck into certain patterns that, if not in the present moment but in retrospect, make us realize that we'd been focusing/ believing in the wrong things for so long in our lives. And if that retrospect , somehow, has a happy ending then you can freely laugh about your past paradigms, but if it has a sad ending, then only regret follows.
We are all creatures of circumstance and it is only natural that we find ourselves swept with the tide of external conditions. Consider the example of losing something very precious to you. It could be an item or even someone you love dearly. Within that moment there is grief , anger, resentment or any other of the many emotions of loss and injustice. The lingering of these emotions can really take a toll on your physical and emotional state so it’s imperative that they be mitigated. But to counter, the pain of, such a loss is not very easy to do. They say time heals all wounds and true it is. But another way of making such conditions more bearable is to look at them from a different point of view. A different paradigm, a different lens of reality.
Everything happens for a reason and whatever your going through must have happened for a reason too, Whether you are aware of it or not remains to be questioned. But brooding over it will not ease your pain or bring you back into alignment to a path that is favorable to replacing or growing beyond “what you lost”. Try to look at the bigger picture of life and you will automatically see the trivialness of your worries.
For example, some things that I’ve encountered are:
1) Concern about my future : What’ll I do?, Where will I work?, where will I live? This is a problem that arises when you start projecting too much into the future and it’s a worry that exists only if you are unsure about “yourself.” If you know what your goals in life are then you won’t be bothered by such thoughts. If you are, then you need to start believing in your ability to achieve it more strongly. That is, you have yet to find out “who you are and what your drives and passions are” What is important is to come to terms with the worst case scenario. Push comes to shove you got to tell yourself that “Hey, even if I got to slum it out temporarily, I KNOW that I’m a hard worker and I WILL ACHIEVE WHATEVER I SET MY MIND TO.” This kind of fire and courage will help you rid yourself of the anxiety and feeling of weakness which you might be feeling.
2) Lost a valuable possession: I lost my iPod nano just when it had been newly released and was the talk of the town. I was devastated, because it cost me a fortune and was very dear to me, but what was done is done. I wrapped my mind around it by accepting that everything happens for a reason and looking at the bigger picture. The picture here was that, the nano had way too many features and quite honestly would have been a terribly successful distraction for me. Movies, music, games, eBooks. I’m pretty sure, that with my discipline level, I would have wasted away weeks of my life on that thing, without anything productive to show for it. So in that sense, and I knew this to be true because I have experienced such “life enveloping” technologies before, there was a definite plus side to my losing it.
3) Being in an accident or finding out that you have a disease: A few years ago, I was playing squash and ended up on the wrong side of my opponents service. Suffice to say I ended up with a messy broken nose. For those who have experienced this, getting hurt on the nose is the kind of pain that can immobilize you instantly At the time, I was cursing the situation and scoffed at the injustice. It was only when I saw the bigger picture that I found some consolation and closure to the calamity. Breaking my nose was a good experience for me to know what life is like for those of us who are suffering or are in hospitals. Mine wasn’t a fatal problem, but I could still understand , at least a glimmer of , what others must have to go through. In addition, looking at it from a different angle, I could have been hurt in much more delicate areas but thank god I wasn’t. It could have been much worse, but It wasn’t. One has to be thankful for that.
Enough with examples, what I wish to convey is that, there are always multiple ways to look at any situation in life. There are always going to be good times and bad times. What’s important is that no matter what event occurs, we learn to look at it with a lens of “desirability” Instead of judging things as good or bad, we need to review them in a different light. Instead of burdening your mind over how bad you feel, try to look at it , from a position of, “what’s the benefit that I can derive from this occurrence?” If you focus from this position, it’s always going to help you see the brighter side of things and learn to keep you energies raised, even when it may appear that circumstances are trying to bring them down.